Task 2: Mastering the dreaded iamb

A couple of things before I begin:

1. PLEASE make sure you have all posted your weekly posts by the deadline. Some of you fell a bit behind to start with, and, as a result, the blog has made a slightly slower start.
2. PLEASE make sure that, as well as completing each task yourself, you ALL find time to comment on each other's posts that week too. Wait until the teacher comments have been posted, and then add your own thoughts. Be positive, of course, but don't be afraid to point out how it could be improved too. 

Right, now for this week's task. Conquering the horrible IAMB!!!

I will start by quoting from some of your poems, to show where you went wrong (and right).

This is a successful iambic pentameter:

A stunning view of Glasgow in my room

Look at the stresses, which will be obvious when you read it out loud:

a STUNning VIEW of GLASgow IN my ROOM

It is a perfect 'dee-DUM' rhythm, with 5 iambic feet, as is this one:

My mind, my fear begins to chill my skin.

These are successful iambic tetrameters:

The crowded sounds of Chinatown...
I know this place, I know its feel...

With each one, notice how it begins with an UNSTRESSED syllable, and then follows a dee-DUM pattern throughout.

And these are each a perfect iambic trimeter (3 feet):

But what else can I say?
While playing in the snow...

And now for some which didn't quite work...

Here's one from 'The City of Singapore':

The colours and lights of downtown.

'Downtown' is tricky, because I guess you could argue it sort of works with either stress - and if you argue strongly that it is pronounced "downTOWN", then I suppose we can tolerate the preceding "of" being stressed. But even if we accept all that, the rhythm is still wrong in the middle, because "and lights" has been placed so that we stress "and" rather than "lights". See how swapping the two nouns around solves this though:

The lights and colours of [downtown].

And what about this from 'A Cold Night in Glasgow':

Watching the building glow

Almost a perfect iambic tetrameter too, if it weren't for the first word, which would have to be pronounced watchING. How about:

i WATCH the BUILDing GLOW...

And this one from 'A memorable place':

Beaches cleaner than the sky

The reason this one slips up is because it only has 7 syllables. All we need as an extra syllable at the start, so push the first syllable of "beaches" into second place, and the whole line then works perfectly:

the BEAches CLEANer THAN the SKY

This pentameter (from 'Stonehenge') is ALMOST iambic, except for the words "my dog", because it sounds much more natural with the emphasis on "dog", but that throws out of kilter the iambic beat:

A life, a dream, concealed in my dog days

It's difficult to remedy that without messing up the rhyme, so this might be an example of where a different idea or phrase is necessary, and just 'tinkering' with the line might not be enough.

So, you see, it IS possible, in ALL your poems. It just takes perseverance, and a CLOSE study of:

• all the Task 1 poems (including the comments);
• last week's task (in full);
• and the whole of this post.

Feel free to redraft your attempt and post it for comments, as an extra piece, if you want. You will feel SO satisfied when you master this - just as you will feel SO annoyed if lots of the others master it this week and you are left behind.

Right, so what do I expect you to do for Task 2?

Well, we're not quite ready for a sonnet yet, but we should be by next week. This week, I simply want:

1. a four-line poem (otherwise known as a quatrain);
2. with an a-b-a-b rhyme scheme (i.e. Lines 1 and 3 rhyme, as do lines 2 and 4);
3. written in iambic (i.e. dee-DUM) pentameters (i.e. 5 feet/beats/stressed);
4. about an ANIMAL of your choice.

Here is my attempt...

Orang Utan

A flash of rusty fur enflames the air;
A branch breaks off and crashes to the ground;
I squint to catch a glimpse of orange hair:
This fiery beast refuses to be found.

See what you can come up with, and remember:

• quatrain
• a-b-a-b
• 5 beats
• dee-DUM

Have fun, and good luck!

Your deadline is: midnight on Sunday 24th February.